pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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