Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
