I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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