OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
