I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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