No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
