Old men and throwing up are my life now.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize