Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
