Having a random hookup so left but love u
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
