You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
