That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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