if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
