Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
