just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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