there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
True strength comes from lack of pants
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
