He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
