Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
