Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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