so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
