You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
