I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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