Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
