She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
