In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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