he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize