Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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