I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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