i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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