After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
