He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
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