i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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