Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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