oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
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You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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