I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
