A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
