Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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