I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Less talking, more tequila
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
