how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
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I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
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Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You are the jesus of drinking
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
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