I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
