i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
