I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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