The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
