he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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