Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize