This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
