We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
