I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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