My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
