I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
