So drunk its hurt
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
