Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
