The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
