Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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