We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
