I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
