i dont even know how to be here
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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