She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
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I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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