i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
