God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
