SEEEEXXX PLEASE
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The power of my boobs compel you
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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