Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
