Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
