Your mouth is God's brothel.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize